THE STRUGGLE IS REAL! But so is the YOGA
Trust in the process…… Life’s BIGGEST lesson!
Well its been a while since I have written a personal blog. It’s not that I haven’t tried. I’ve written thousands of headings and random words trying so hard to make a sentence out of it all. Something that makes sense, be enlightening, funny, uplifting, wise…
But that’s just it, I was trying too hard and not just allowing what was wanting to surface and be ok with that. I realised that I have been putting so much pressure on myself, not just with the blog but in all aspects of my life.. My yoga studies, my personal practise, my own gym routine, my health regime… AHHHH
On talking with my fellow students, this seems to be a pattern we all put ourselves through. Putting all this pressure on ourselves to have everything figured out all of the time, when in fact we are not meant to! Perfect example of this was when my class all came back from the Christmas holidays we seemed to all be in this weird place, only half way through the course but thinking we should know more, feeling like we will never get it, feeling like we had forgotten everything, and feeling like… “What am I even doing here?” FEELING LIKE GIVING IT UP!!!
I was feeling like I needed to have it all figured out, be great at teaching (even thought I knew I had only just started to teach). I was not being patient enough with myself or allowing the time to develop the skills so I went into complete overwhelm mode and just shut down.
But thankfully I didn’t quit and I stood the course (pun intended) and with the patience and resilience of our yoga teacher training team (even though I’m sure we shit them to tears), I am pleased to say I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT….
As part of our studies of yoga we have been told that there will be hurdles and stumbling blocks along the way, but to trust in the yoga, it is perfect. I have to say it has worked.
Not that in any means I have figured out it all out, but I have learnt to lightened up with the pressure I put on myself and given myself permission to not have it all worked out. I have removed the pressure to have plans ready for when I have finished (this was big!!!), which intern has allowed space for me to breath again and actually reconnect – to start enjoying the process again.
Ahhhh… It’s all part of the process and it is all OK.